Blah update

Obviously I have not gotten the hang of the blogging phenomena. I've been too busy vacillating between trying to make a go of life in general and contemplating suicide. Keeps a guy busy I can tell ya.

Bad use of my money

And so the casino got me again. My addictive personality has done me no good as tonight I persuaded myself into going down to my local favorite. Then, once there, the game I was going to play was closed and I stupidly played other games that I never should have sat down at. I should know better by now but I never learn. Oh well, can't wait to do it again next paycheck.

Lamentations

I'm so bored with life. What is wrong with me? There's so many things I could be doing right now and yet I don't want to pursue any of them. I just want...I don't even know the answer to that. But I'm bored and tired and when I think about the next however many years I'm going to be alive (knock on wood), my mind just goes crazy. I guess I never noticed all this as much in the past because I was so heavily involved with alcohol and to a lesser extent drugs. Ah, the good old days.

The end of dating

Had a drink with my final eHarmony connection tonight. Attractive, intelligent, but not so sure she was that interested. We shall see. Have no idea what the hell happened with the girl from Issaquah. Excellent first date then she disappears. Which sucks. Ah, but whatta ya gonna do?

How do people do it?

As I sit at my desk staring at the cursor blinking and mocking me, I wonder how people go about their lives continually. When I think of how long I've already been alive, which seems really long at times despite it only being 35+ years, and then I think about how much longer I may have, although it could be only one more day for all I know, I just wonder how I keep going. I feel like I've accomplished plenty and yet nothing at all. I am bored and curious at the same time. I want to know what tomorrow will bring yet expect it to yield nothing new. When I try to write, I keep wondering why I'm doing it, who will read it or even want to, and what the point of it at all is. But I guess I gotta do something, otherwise life truly becomes pointless. Which it may be anyway. Okay, enough with the depressing post. For now...

Shoulda, coulda, woulda

Tonight I should have gone to the comedy club. I was out the last two nights, one performing and one just watching, so I felt this week has been okay on that. Tonight would have just been watching again so it was easier to pass up. But I have to ask myself if I am going to ever make the commitment to it that it deserves. If I'm so sure that I can make a mark for myself as a comedian (not necessarily world wide fame, but...) then I'm going to have to suck it up at some point and keep going out every night. Just like the rest of them. Sure no money is the easy excuse, but if that's the plan then I may be in trouble as money problems don't look like they're going anywhere soon. At least I got two more stories for my book done today, so the day wasn't an entire waste. I figured out what I need to do each day to make my deadline and it's really not so daunting. Of course, if I don't keep up with my pace, it could become very daunting and that could lead to more procrastination or, horror of horrors, never getting it done. Luckily, that's not an option as others are now involved. So I'll try to focus on that positive and not regret staying home.

Re:Giving ladies a bad name

Remember those two crazy women I was ranting about a week ago? No? Anyone out there? No matter, I'll blab on anyway. The one with the nut allergy disappeared altogether while the one who seemed to disappear altogether actually emailed me several days later to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth. Turns out she got very sick also and was ignoring all people. Being the nice guy that I am, I accepted the facts as stated and now we are scheduled to go out this Friday. I told her to stay very healthy this time.